Today was truly a long day. I'm extremely tired right now and I have a bed full of clothes that need to be folded and put away. I'm only making this entry because I really want to keep up with following through on completing my goal lists. I actually feel accomplished and good about myself. When I worked out today I felt like I was finally getting back on track. I may go outside for a heavy workout if I can get up early enough in the morning. I definitely would rather work up the sweat than to just sweat cause it's hot on top of sweating because of hard work. I think that's lowkey stupid. Windsor came over today and I hate that part of me wanted to kiss him. But it's true. Like.. I just wanted to feel his lips because they are kind of soft. I don't want to have sex with him until I get these results back next week though. Cause that shit would be wrong of me to do knowing what Eric is trying to say about me. I'm thinking that I won't even tell him when I do get my results but I feel like it's so fucked up if he knowingly tried to pass his disease off on me. Like sir.. that's not okay at all. But everybody doesn't have the same heart as me and everybody isn't out for the best interests of others, so that's fine. One takeaway that I got from it all is that you live & you learn.. And that's exactly what I'm hoping to keep doing. Living, learning, and growing. Tomorrow I'm going to email Daniel, even though I really don't want to.. but this job would truly be everything for me. It would make my life so much easier I swear. I'm going to pray on it and hope that the good things that I want manifest before me. I have been slacking on the reading of the Bible but I'm going to get back on that soon. Being intentional about reading actually opened my eyes and heart, along with helping me to see the bigger picture of life. I think that's all I want to say for now.
I've never met a man bold enough to ask me that. Most will just say it casually, "I'm ugly af but I'll treat you right" or some other stupid shit. Why? Because they want you to say "You're not ugly bae". Bullshit ass validation that they probably seek from every person they come into contact with. And I'm making it a general "they" instead of saying "he" because women do the same shit. I think most times that woman complain about men is because they are upset that men are capable of going through some of the same frustrating experiences as them, and it's definitely vice versa. People are very fucked up. For some reason I keep finding myself struggling to figure out if I'm a fucked up person or not. It's something that I think about a lot... but back on track. Today, well yesterday (it's 1:30 in the morning right now), I had barely even said hello to N's cousin before convincing myself that he was...
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I may not even read these but shoot.