Tame

I'm high! But no forreal.  I finally bought some weed today and I rolled a pretty alright blunt.  That shit was amazing! I didn't smoke the whole thing, of course.  Just took a few hits.  I also took a play from Izayah's book and left some of the tobacco in there.  That should help me stretch my shit forreal.  But anyway, now I'm relaxing and enjoying myself on the couch.  Trying not to put too much thought into shit.  I realized that living in my phone can be a serious problem.  I'm not sure when I started to be this why or why I'm like this.  Being constantly available leaves the door open for insecurities and abandonment of self.  So what does this mean for me?  I think that I'm going to spend more time actually getting things done instead of falling victim to living via messages.  Typing without my hands resting on the keyboard seems sort of weird but I think that this is the way you're supposed to do it.  I'm not really sure what I've been doing all this time... I think that I'm always so afraid of messing up or stepping out of turn.  And other people can probably tell.  High me is most definitely a calmer, less anxious me.  So how do I convey that to my counselor?  How do I ask for help in these situations?  I normally can't even explain how I feel on a daily basis.  I may be getting there though, soon enough.  We'll see.