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Know Yourself

"I've always been me, I guess I know myself" . . .

I wish I could sing that and mean it.  I've always been looking, I can say that much.  But I guess I've never had to really look too hard.  I've always had dreams and ideas about who the optimum Trenisha is supposed to be.  But I've been lazy as fuck, which has messed up a lot of things for me in the end.  This is not the first time that I've admitted this though and it certainly isn't the first time that I realized it.  I've realized it for a really long time now.  I'm not sure when it happened but something in me stopped fighting and then I got locked inside my head and not with any of the good shit.  So now I'm on a mission to open Pandora's box and see what I might find.  It's official that I'm going back home soon.  I'm ready even though I know that I'm actually not ready, as funny that is.  I have a plan in mind though, so let's see if my consistency will hold up.  I'm doubting it strongly.... I was gonna erase that, but the fact that I put this in here and I wasn't even really thinking about it tells me that my mind is poisoned.  I'm gonna look up how to combat that.  Later

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