Today I'm having mixed feelings. For the most part I think that I'm alright. I realized that I've been having some pretty decent days. I also realized that there's only 3 days left of starving, so that's a major plus. My mom has been on my mind lately but I really don't want to talk to anyone. I thought that I did, but honestly I need to spend some time with myself. I'm the only person that truly understands me. And now that I think about it, I don't really like getting other people's opinions anyway. They never truly understand me or anything that I go through. I'm different. And I'm not sure when I started to think that it wasn't okay. If I really think about it, I used to take pride in being different, in being myself. Self confidence is never something that I possessed but I also never gave it this much thought. I used to have a clear idea of the things that I wanted to accomplish and have for myself. Where am I now? Lowkey lost. But I truly think that it's something that can be bounced back from. I just need a plan that I'll actually stick to. Planning is always easier said than done. Well I take that back. I think I'm a pretty decent planner, my execution skills need some serious work though. I really want to take a nap. I might just do that after I scroll through the internet some more.
I've never met a man bold enough to ask me that. Most will just say it casually, "I'm ugly af but I'll treat you right" or some other stupid shit. Why? Because they want you to say "You're not ugly bae". Bullshit ass validation that they probably seek from every person they come into contact with. And I'm making it a general "they" instead of saying "he" because women do the same shit. I think most times that woman complain about men is because they are upset that men are capable of going through some of the same frustrating experiences as them, and it's definitely vice versa. People are very fucked up. For some reason I keep finding myself struggling to figure out if I'm a fucked up person or not. It's something that I think about a lot... but back on track. Today, well yesterday (it's 1:30 in the morning right now), I had barely even said hello to N's cousin before convincing myself that he was...
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I may not even read these but shoot.