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I feel like I haven't been posting because I haven't really had anything worth saying.  A lot has happened even though it may not seem like it.  I've been going through the motions trying to find myself, or a least a version of myself that I can be confident in and comfortable with.  One day soon I'll be there.  If I have to think about it, I think I want to be happy in my own skin.  Learn to live and love life the way it has been given to me.  I do realize that without the weed I can't do it often.  I try but it always feels fake.  There's always a lot going on in my mind and that holds me back from remembering to not focus so much.  When I take things for what they are and keep moving, life doesn't seem to bad.  It may not be amazing but I definitely have more good times than I ever noticed before.  I'm still really smart, even with not applying myself as I should, I feel as though I still have a leg up in this world.  I want to take advantage of the advantages that I have and I've gotta stay on myself so that I can do that.  Discipline.  I've learned that as long as I can control myself I can manipulate the world around me.

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I may not even read these but shoot.

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