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It's Clearly Been A While

It's been such a long time since I've journaled here but I think I was pretty consistent with writing it.  I think that doing both will be something that I want to focus on from now on.  I'm taking a new strategy this semester.  I want to sit in the back.  Way in the back.  That way I can focus on what I'm learning and what's going on instead of everything around me.  Also, since my classes are only 50 minutes (except TuTh), I don't need to be near the door like I first thought.  I'm also thinking about showing up early, ensuring the same seat, or at least same area, for sure.  I swear, I feel like this semester is going to go so well, I can burst.  Everything seems to be working out in my favor, even when I don't notice it at first.  I'm beyond thankful.  I think I'm struggling with my faith again.  I'm not sure what I believe or why and it's been that way for far too long.  I think I just got an idea though.  I'm going to go to the botanica with Summer.  Get some stuff for our energy.  I feel like I'm really on a journey, going through and experiencing things.  I like it, but only when I'm consciously aware of it, like now.  Right now I am wondering how my face looks as I'm typing.  I felt like it looked unattractive so I'm trying to settle into a different expression while remaining comfortable enough to not think about it anymore.  Lip biting might be it, or it might not be.  I'm going to think about something else now.  Now I'm trying to figure out if my computer had a glitch in the speakers when playing this song.  Nope, I failed at the lip biting thing.  Damnit.  I'm going to get it together eventually.  I feel like having laptops in class growing up would have made actually writing anything too painful to do.  Okay seriously, I really don't understand how some people don't pay attention to what they're typing exactly as they're typing it because for the most part, while I type, I watch the screen.  That's probably because my fingers have gotten really used to a keyboard and that's okay.  I'm actually enjoying typing right now and that's probably the only reason that I haven't stopped;  I feel like I'm doing something real important, even though I know I'm not.  But I get weird like that sometimes, so I'm not too worried.  I'm so excited to go to the bookstore tomorrow!  I'm going to get everything that I need, if not majority of it.  I hope they have some sweaters that I'll like.  Definitely want new ones.  I may do hoodies, but I'm thinking that I'll mainly not.  The hoods get in the way and make things awkward.. and they're usually not the same style as the sweaters..  I'm not sure if I'm just high or if I am really tired, but I know that it's probably both.  Whatever.  The rest I do get tonight is going to be amazing.  I don't think I'm going to Wendy's tomorrow.  I want to make the money, yes.  But at the same time I know that I don't need it right now, so why put myself through that?  I also think that it could be helping me build some discipline if I just go.  I'm more than likely making it into more than it is.. but isn't that life?  Aren't people just dancing around the truth until they get tired and die?

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